Most Recent Episodes
EP. 47: How Not To Buy A Boat
Show Notes In this episode, I touch on a couple of "How Not To Buy A Boat" ideas that I wrote about in my book....
Ep. 46: Pull, Don’t Be Pushed
This just might be the most imporant episode I've done this year. Wait...what?
Ep. 45: Humbug! (Announcement)
An important announcement...and maybe some flute. Who knows?
Ep. 44: Annapolis Boat Show!
It's party time!
Ep. 43: Hurricane Irma & Jacie Sails
Strange how much this episode from a "pre-How Not To Sail" podcast parallels this week's events—and how little I learned from my experience. Don’t forget,...
Ep. 42: Season 2 Party and Annapolis Boat Show
We're getting ready for some large fun!
Ep. 41: Updates, Parties and Ventures… Oh, My!
Some news about the Zoom party, a certain boat show...and what I've been screwing around with.
Ep. 40: Season 2 Finale
I try to actally fix a coupla things so I can get back "home"...and make a disturbing discovery at the last minute.
Ep. 39: On The Hard
A big crane (a.k.a. a “travel lift”) plucks my sailboat from the water, hopefully in one piece. And we meet an old friend.
What the @#*$&^ is going on this week, you ask? This is the answer.
Ep. 38: Beware Sunscreen!
I cruise up the Gulf Coast, discover how dangerous sunscreen can be, and...maybe(???) get hauled out?
Ep. 37: Schizophrenia
I fail to repair my thru-hull valves but learn How Not To Snuba and just a wee bit about diesel engines. And maybe I'm optimistic?
Ep. 36: Another Bitchin Episode
Ex-biker, bodyguard to Evel Knievel and 100,00-mile world sailor. You know Captain Bob Bitchin has some great How Not To Sail stories! And is that...Morgan Freeman?!??
Ep. 35: Reefer Madness
Calm down, it’s about one of the most important things on a boat…the refrigerator. I discover a super-cool “feature” that’s been buried for a decade. And if “Blowtorch Mike” wasn’t colorful enough, surely “Reefer Mike” is?
Episode 34: Not Always Utopia?
Jimmy and Sondra Lee buy s/v Utopia, a Caliber 40 LRC, shoot a toilet gasket across the cabin, dodge catastrophe in a lock...and learn...
Episode 33: Answerin’ Yarrrr Questions…
In this episode, I answer listener questions...with some help from a couple of VIPs...!
Episode 32: Captain Boomies and The Bear
In this episode, we hang out with former megayacht Captain Boomies and her megayacht "Mate-ineer" Christian...a.k.a. "Bear."
Episode 31: Stuck On Trickle (St. Pete Boat Show)
In this episode, I may get to say a few words at the St. Pete Power & Sail Show; I DO get to hang out with the HNTS Patreon Crew; and...
Episode 30: Cruising with The Admiral
In this episode, we share a slice of the cruising life (sorta) from Sarasota and reveal a couple of the survey results...and have a sip of The Donkey. (Reef Donkey. It's a beer. The Admiral wanted to clarify that.🤣)
Episode 29: All At Sea
In this episode, I check if we're still afloat, try to get some music from Peter Suarez, and resolve a little wager we made.
Episode 28: The Punch List
In the last podcast of 2021, I get a couple of unpleasant surprises. Welcome to cruising!
Episode 27: Ahoy, HowNotToSailer!
A steaming potpourri of How Not To Sail news and tidbits to (almost) close out the year.
Episode 26: How Not To Paddleboard
In this episode, I try to stay upright on a paddleboard and get some peace…but I run into a familiar obstacle.
How Not To Paint Your Cabin Top
If you have an older sailboat, then you probably have some leaks in your cabin top. I'm no expert at how to paint and fill cracks, but...
(Bonus) Episode 24: I answer your questions!
I answer your questions!
Episode 23: Reaching Reality with Barry Walton
(For the video version, click the main image above. I recommend the "Watch on YouTube" option, so you can comment, "like," subscribe, and whatnot. For...
Episode 22: O Brother, Here Art Thou
In this episode, I take my brother sailing, and uncover some more How Not To Sail tips…
Episode 21: Pluses and Minuses (Season Opener)
This first episode of Season Two is about a rather dirty topic.
Unheard Gems from Season One
Here are some of the stories and How Not To Sail moments from Bob Bitchin, Fuel Dock Debbie, and Eric Stone you *didn't* hear in Season One...!
Episode 20: Eric Stone (Season Finale)
In the FINAL episode of Season One, I visit with Eric Stone.
Episode 19: Loose Ends
Kinda self-explanatory, no? Well then...it's about me wrapping up my sail around South Florida and honing the podcast.
Episode 18: Back To The Barn
After a month and 700-mile round trip, it's about time to put Jacie Sails back into her slip. (And HNTS party info!!!)
Episode 17: It’s Alive!
In this episode we come full circle. (You'll hear what I mean if you've heard the previous episodes...)
Episode 16: …or Stubbornness?
In this episode, I do a couple of stupid things. Try not to be surprised.
Episode 15: Persistence…?
In this episode, I finally head back toward my home port, meet some "old friends," and am stubbornly persistent as usual. Hopefully that works out okay.
Happy where you are?
Sometimes you just have to remind yourself to stop and smell the marina—er, roses. Whichever...
Episode 13: Back Toward Marathon
After coming to grips with the new reality of things, I start the 350-mile journey back toward Marathon, and "home." (And I probably should learn how certain things work on the boat. Just sayin'.)
Episode 12: The Way Forward
In the aftermath of a major setback, I learn that you have to go with the current. (Produced aboard Jacie Sails during the COVID-19 pandemic.)
Episode 11: My Favorite Dance is the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
We finally make it to the boat show in Miami...and a shocking development.
Episode 10: Miami
In this episode, I point the boat toward downtown Miami at last! What could possibly go wrong? (Plus info on the How Not To Sail book giveaway!)
Episode 9: Eastbound! (Audio *and* Video!)
I sail east from Marathon toward Key Biscayne, Miami and the Miami Boat Show, stopping at Rodriguez Key near Key Largo and having the usual misadventures.
Update: We Found Fuel Dock Debbie
Woohoo! We found her!
Episode 8: I Don’t Wanna Be Buffett (Trop Rock)
In my quest to learn more about this "Trop Rock" music that all the boaters seem to love, I talk to Eric Stone, Mike Nash, and Brian Watson from SV Another Road.
Episode 7: Fuel Dock Debbie
Sometimes in cruising—and in life—things don’t go like you planned.
This Week On The Podcast: I’m Answering Your Questions!
Well, the title pretty much says it all. This week, I'm answering listener questions from YOU, #HowNotToSailer...!
Episode 6: The Great Leap Forward
In this episode, I make the leap 90 miles south from Marco to Marathon, and find...something in the way. (Or many somethings, really.)
Episode 5: Jacie Sails
In this episode, we finally meet the main character, Jacie Sails, and learn how she got her unusual name.
Episode 4: Sounds
Sounds can be critical on a boat...
Episode 3: Fog
Besides crab pots and lightning, fog is probably my new least favorite thing. In this episode, we run into fog both literal and metaphorical.
Episode 2: Control
In Episode 2, I make final preparations for my voyage, gain a theme song, and learn an interesting lesson from musician and sailor Peter Suarez.
Episode 1: Bitchin
In Ep. 1, I talk to cruising legend Bob Bitchin, and get ready to ...