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Ep. 37: Schizophrenia

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I fail to repair my thru-hull valves but learn How Not To Snuba and just a wee bit about diesels engines. And maybe I'm optimistic?

Ep. 36: Another Bitchin Episode

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Ex-biker, bodyguard to Evel Knievel and 100,00-mile world sailor. You know Captain Bob Bitchin has some great How Not To Sail stories! And is that...Morgan Freeman?!??

Ep. 35: Reefer Madness

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Calm down, it’s about one of the most important things on a boat…the refrigerator. I discover a super-cool “feature” that’s been buried for a decade. And if “Blowtorch Mike” wasn’t colorful enough, surely “Reefer Mike” is?

Episode 34: Not Always Utopia?

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Jimmy and Sondra Lee buy s/v Utopia, a Caliber 40 LRC, shoot a toilet gasket across the cabin, dodge catastrophe in a lock...and learn...

Episode 33: Answerin’ Yarrrr Questions…

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In this episode, I answer listener questions...with some help from a couple of VIPs...!

Episode 32: Captain Boomies and The Bear

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In this episode, we hang out with former megayacht Captain Boomies and her megayacht "Mate-ineer" Christian...a.k.a. "Bear."

Episode 31: Stuck On Trickle (St. Pete Boat Show)

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In this episode, I may get to say a few words at the St. Pete Power & Sail Show; I DO get to hang out with the HNTS Patreon Crew; and...

Episode 30: Cruising with The Admiral

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In this episode, we share a slice of the cruising life (sorta) from Sarasota and reveal a couple of the survey results...and have a sip of The Donkey. (Reef Donkey. It's a beer. The Admiral wanted to clarify that.🤣)

Episode 29: All At Sea

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In this episode, I check if we're still afloat, try to get some music from Peter Suarez, and resolve a little wager we made.

Episode 28: The Punch List

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In the last podcast of 2021, I get a couple of unpleasant surprises. Welcome to cruising!

Episode 27: Ahoy, HowNotToSailer!

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A steaming potpourri of How Not To Sail news and tidbits to (almost) close out the year.

Episode 26: How Not To Paddleboard

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In this episode, I try to stay upright on a paddleboard and get some peace…but I run into a familiar obstacle.

How Not To Paint Your Cabin Top

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If you have an older sailboat, then you probably have some leaks in your cabin top. I'm no expert at how to paint and fill cracks, but...

(Bonus) Episode 24: I answer your questions!

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I answer your questions!

Episode 23: Reaching Reality with Barry Walton

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(For the video version, click the main image above. I recommend the "Watch on YouTube" option, so you can comment, "like," subscribe, and whatnot. For...

Episode 22: O Brother, Here Art Thou

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In this episode, I take my brother sailing, and uncover some more How Not To Sail tips…

Episode 21: Pluses and Minuses (Season Opener)

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This first episode of Season Two is about a rather dirty topic.

Unheard Gems from Season One

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Here are some of the stories and How Not To Sail moments from Bob Bitchin, Fuel Dock Debbie, and Eric Stone you *didn't* hear in Season One...!

Episode 20: Eric Stone (Season Finale)

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In the FINAL episode of Season One, I visit with Eric Stone.

Episode 19: Loose Ends

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Kinda self-explanatory, no? Well then...it's about me wrapping up my sail around South Florida and honing the podcast.

Episode 18: Back To The Barn

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After a month and 700-mile round trip, it's about time to put Jacie Sails back into her slip. (And HNTS party info!!!)

Episode 17: It’s Alive!

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In this episode we come full circle. (You'll hear what I mean if you've heard the previous episodes...)

Episode 16: …or Stubbornness?

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In this episode, I do a couple of stupid things. Try not to be surprised.

Episode 15: Persistence…?

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In this episode, I finally head back toward my home port, meet some "old friends," and am stubbornly persistent as usual. Hopefully that works out okay.

Happy where you are?

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Sometimes you just have to remind yourself to stop and smell the marina—er, roses. Whichever...

Episode 13: Back Toward Marathon

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After coming to grips with the new reality of things, I start the 350-mile journey back toward Marathon, and "home." (And I probably should learn how certain things work on the boat. Just sayin'.)

Episode 12: The Way Forward

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In the aftermath of a major setback, I learn that you have to go with the current. (Produced aboard Jacie Sails during the COVID-19 pandemic.)

Episode 11: My Favorite Dance is the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

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We finally make it to the boat show in Miami...and a shocking development.

Episode 10: Miami

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In this episode, I point the boat toward downtown Miami at last! What could possibly go wrong? (Plus info on the How Not To Sail book giveaway!)

Episode 9: Eastbound! (Audio *and* Video!)

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Check it out...the official launch of the "real stuff" on the How Not To Sail YouTube channel! (You don't have to subscribe, but hey,...

Update: We Found Fuel Dock Debbie

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Woohoo! We found her!

Episode 8: I Don’t Wanna Be Buffett (Trop Rock)

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In my quest to learn more about this "Trop Rock" music that all the boaters seem to love, I talk to Eric Stone, Mike Nash, and Brian Watson from SV Another Road.

Episode 7: Fuel Dock Debbie

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Sometimes in cruising—and in life—things don’t go like you planned.

This Week On The Podcast: I’m Answering Your Questions!

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Well, the title pretty much says it all. This week, I'm answering listener questions from YOU, #HowNotToSailer...!

Episode 6: The Great Leap Forward

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In this episode, I make the leap 90 miles south from Marco to Marathon, and find...something in the way. (Or many somethings, really.)

Episode 5: Jacie Sails

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In this episode, we finally meet the main character, Jacie Sails, and learn how she got her unusual name.

Episode 4: Sounds

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Sounds can be critical on a boat...

Episode 3: Fog

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Besides crab pots and lightning, fog is probably my new least favorite thing. In this episode, we run into fog both literal and metaphorical.

Episode 2: Control

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In Episode 2, I make final preparations for my voyage, gain a theme song, and learn an interesting lesson from musician and sailor Peter Suarez.

Episode 1: Bitchin

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In Ep. 1, I talk to cruising legend Bob Bitchin, and get ready to ...

Season 1 Trailer

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Get a sneak peek at the podcast!