Mixed by Maxi Frini.

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VO: Ahoy there! Bradford here.

I just wanted to give a special shout out at the top of the show to Carey, Scott and Al for their encouragement,

which they were kind enough to post in the comments on the last announcement episode. You guys rock.

Last episode, we were left with a sticky docking situation. (another sound bite)

I was coming into Mar Marina in Tarpon Springs to finally haul out my boat.

I'm hoping to finally fix my thru-hull valves.

If I can just figure out what the wind and current are doing. And avoid hitting one of these expensive boats that are just a few feet away

What could possibly go wrong?

How Not To Sail, sponsored by our awesome Patreon patrons. Shout out to Julie, Francine and Jim this week...

Latitudes & Attitudes, America's number one selling boating lifestyle magazine...

Our friend, Captain Bob Bitchin at Bob Bitchin dot com...

and lest we forget, the book How Not To Sail, at How Not To Sail dot com.

BR: Alrighty. Well, that was a semi epic clusterfuck.

VO: So I do finally managed to get tied up to a long pier, a few feet away from the other boats.

BR: Ah, the wind is blowing me off the dock and then there's some slips about, I don't know, 10, 12 feet on the leeward side. Yeah.

VO: The slips are 90 degrees from the pier I'm side tied to. There's an empty one at the end. I don't know if it's available but i sure am thinking about air conditioning.

BR: I think I might need to back into this last one if I want some power overnight. That should be interesting.

All right. Let's try calling the marina.

VO: I don't reach anybody at the marina number, which I didn't expect on a Sunday. But before long owner Gene shows up.

BR: You can ignore my voicemail. I got. I found the guy over here.

VO: Gene seems like a pretty good guy.

Especially since he says I can use the slip with the power.

BR: I figured I could warp into this one pretty easy.

VO: After Gene takes off, I began a 45 minute exercise in gymnastics. That you might call warping into the slip.

I was not graceful.

I had a bow line still attached to the previous doc, but I couldn't seem to get my stern far enough into the new slip to let go. Finally i managed somehow.

I'd had a very long day of motoring screwing up and finally warping into a slip.

[Beer Open]

BR: I am so freaking tired

So I motored all day from St. Pete, up to Anclote River

when the owner gene came by, he said, I could get into the last regular slip. It was kind of catty corner to where I was tied up. And I spent the next 45 minutes doing some sort of warping with lines to get my stern into the slip with the wind, trying to keep me from doing that. I can't really explain my strategy, but it made me very tired.

Got plenty of sun, plenty of heat, plenty of sweating. And after all that, I just kind of stared into space for awhile.

My new boat, neighbors, Eric and Shannon on the power cat. That's parked next to me here were kind enough to give me some extra beers.

Very cool.

So, yeah, it's not even nine and I'm getting ready to crash.

so I guess when the crew gets here in the morning, I'm going to see if I can get the bow out of this slip and aim towards the basin where the, a travel lift will come and pick me up and put me on the hard, well, put the boat on the hard.

F8n Mid-Side Haulout

VO: Monday morning, I'm ready to haul out.

I meet Gene's son, Shane who's operating the travel lift.

Shane: What, you have like a YouTube channel or something?

BR: I do that, but the audio is the main and I got a book. How Not To Sail.

Shane: Huh.

BR: Because I'm an expert on that.

VO: I'm not sure Shane appreciates my sense of humor.

Shane: What's the keel look like on your boat?

BR: Uh, you mean style?

Shane: Yes.

BR: Uh, fin.

VO: But he seems to know what he's doing. , which is good because as usual I have limited time to get everything done.


Are you hoping to be back in by Friday or

BR: That's my plan.

Shane: Okay.

BR: God willing.

VO: I have an Airbnb trailer book nearby. And my checkout is in four days.

So it's time to get on with the haul out.

I said in episode 34 with our friends from --sailing vessel Utopia that hauling out is when you pull up to. Uh, marina and a large crane plucks you out of the water.

It's actually a little more. More sophisticated in that.

What happens is you pull into the hall out basin, which is a boat slip with thick concrete. Treat walls on either side.

Then the travel lift, which is like a big. Uh, square skeleton with tractor tires drives out over your boat like a spider over its prey, using the tops of the concrete walls for a highway.

Then they pass two straps underneath your vessel, hopefully not around anything thing delicate, and hoisted up out of the water.

Then if everything goes well, the travel lift carries your boat to where it's going to be in the yard. they set the keel down on a block of wood and prop it up. Right with four jack stands that look far too dainty to hold a nine ton vessel in place.

BR: , so I'm on a step ladder grabbing onto the swim ladder of Jacie Sails, which is in the travel lift right now on the horde kind of parked. It's a very strange feeling to be climbing up the swim ladder and ended up 10, 12 feet above ground. Well, maybe 10.

VO: It's a very weird feeling, walking around up here.

They haven't put the jack stands under the boat yet but shane says it's okay to do what i need to

BR: it barely moves, I guess. It's I guess it shouldn't be moving she's sitting with her keel on two blocks of wood. And the travel lift is holding the rest in balance surprises me. Those two pieces of wood can hold nine tons.

VO: after zipping the center, Dodger windshield thingy, back into place and covering it up so it won't get dust all over it. I climbed back down and have a look at the hull.

BR: Here's the shaft zinc. It looks all right. The, a propeller smells like fish.

I'm rotating the self tailing blades here and I smell fish.

VO: I noticed the blade edges on this expensive max prop propeller are pitted a little bit Which i assume is what happens when you have electrical problems and your zinc isn't changed often enough.

It's a lot easier to see these things when you're not swimming in murky marina water

BR: The water line here is just right above eye level. Top of the rudder here is just above my head. I can see the crack here where I may or may not have grounded hard right off Whitney beach a couple of years ago, probably time to fix that.

VO: I take advantage of this rare opportunity to look at the outside of all the through holes

BR: over here is the strainer over the air conditioner, water intake. Very important feature. I see some of the holes in the strainer are plugged with some Marine growth.

. Oh, there's a fricking sea creature or something. Get off there.

VO: The keel has some sort of spots on the leading edge and at the bottom. I'm not sure if it's galvanic corrosion or what. I'm going to lean on shane's expertise on that one

Shane: we'll get it scraped and pressure washed and blocked and standard today. and then probably tomorrow I'll have him standing on it.

VO: The main reason I'm here is so I can replace the through-hole valves, which I didn't want to do in the water. But I'm also going to have them paint. The bottom, since the price was good. And I want them to add a zinc anode through the hole, to which we can electrically bond all the through holes and other metal parts that are supposed to be bonded.

Shane isn't so sure i need to add an anode.

Shane: Sure you need one?

BR: Uh, with as much problems as we got fucked up stuff. Yeah. It seemed like a


Shane: uh, generally sailboats, they don't put hull anodes on,

BR: right.

Shane: This is what they have. Prop and shaft.

VO: But I'm dead set on adding a hull anode because of whatever electrical wackiness is still going on in my marina.

Shane: How often are you having to change those?

BR: Like once a month or less?

Shane: Really?

BR: Yeah. I think either me or somebody in the marina was donating some stray electricity.

Shane: Yeah. But, uh, a lot of times that's the issue.


VO: Yeah, that's pretty much what I'd already decided.

But irregardless, is my friend. Bill might say, of whether it's my boat or someone else's boat or something else that's causing all the galvanic corrosion, I think I should probably have my boat properly bonded.

And if someone's going to drill a hole through my boat, I'd rather it. I be them instead of me.

I also ask if they can fix the crack that I've had for awhile at the top of the rudder, just above the waterline.

Shane: It looks like that's just Bondo. They used at the top of the rudder. They're going to have to grind that down and then, uh, either use some filler or You can mix some fiberglass with resin.

VO: Now, if you happen to see the YouTube episode about how I cracked my rudder. You're probably ready for

How Not To Sail 101.

It's bad to get in a shallow part of the ocean where waves can bounce your multi ton boat up and down on the keel and rudder.

And speaking of How Not To Sail. I should probably take this opportunity to thank our awesome Patrion, How Not To Sail crew. Including captain Douggie,

Who along with his brother, Jeff was kind enough to let me swipe their booking at Mar marina.

Now you don't need to let me swipe your marina booking. In fact, just you listening is a blessing to me. But I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that you can become a Patrion patron. And help support How Not To Sail for as little as $3 a month at How Not To Sail dot com slash Patrion. That's P A T R E O N.

And as a matter of fact, one of our other Patrion patrons. Is about to make an appearance in this episode.

you don't think we need torches and all that stuff today. Do you?

VO: Our friend blow torch mike has come by to drive me back to st pete so i can pick up my truck and bring it back up here to tarpon springs

Mike K.: How are you, sir?

VO: And wouldn't, you know, it. He's brought some tools

Including a torch rig.

BR: We are unloading the Mike Mobile.

there's nothing flammable here. Is there other than those

VO: of course now that we're on the hard my cockpit entrance over the transom is about 10 feet above ground

Mike K.: ways up, ain't it?

BR: that hurt my shin.

VO: Mike climbs to the top of the step ladder. And I lean over the transom and perform a very improper, dead lift to hoist the rig and extra tank up into the cockpit. Thankfully, these are not the huge tanks you see on the back of some trucks, but. They're definitely not light

And why do we have a blow torch rigor board you ask? Because as we learned in episode 28, Heat can sometimes help get metal fittings apart without breaking them. Not that I recommend using a blow torch without professional supervision. As we also learned in episode 28.

VO: But mainly by schlepping this heavy gear up into the boat. We're counting on what i call mike's corollary to murphy's law

Mike K.: You know, we have all this stuff. We probably won't need it.

BR: That is correct.

But, but by bringing this,

Mike K.: by bringing all this,

BR: we've made sure that we have an easy time of it.

Mike K.: Yes, hopefully.

VO: Mike's also brought a heat gun, some ceramic wool and some very large wrenches.

I'm not worried about overkill though.

I've got four days to remove the five C Coq fittings from the through holes. And if any of the through holes break, when I removed those fittings, I'll have to find some new through holes and install them.

I'm hoping they don't break.

Mike K.: So where's the AirBnB?

BR: Let's see

VO: Mike takes me by the trailer. I've rented to make sure it's all good. Which it is.

Then down to St. Pete to get my truck,

and then we head back up to Tarpon Springs. Where i treat mike to a well-deserved beverage and food

BR: Outdoor

Mike K.: sit outside.

BR: Hell yeah. I'm all for a view.

VO: We enjoy a meal at marina jacks as I stare stupidly out at the water.

I'm thinking about a nice shower in a clean, quiet trailer after two days of sweating profusely.

The marina knows what I need from them. And i have just one basic task for me to complete

Removing the five valves without breaking off the through holes they're attached to.

I've got $700 worth of Groco valves. A heat gun. An assortment of wrenches. And if we need it a blue torch

And three more days before the travel lift is scheduled to come and grab my boat again and put it back in the water. One way or another.

What could possibly go wrong Join us Friday, August 5th, when I lose about five pounds of water working inside a hot boat. In a boat yard in Florida. Maybe successfully.

And see if we can splash her again without sinking.

You know, we're almost to the end of season two, which leads me to this.

Do you think we should have a party?

If you were here when season one came out, you may be aware that. We had a very lively zoom party.

With some great. Great music, a few celebrity guests, and you. If you were there.

And I was just wondering if we should have one to celebrate the completion of season two, assuming I make it back home alive from Tarpon Springs. Spoiler alert I did

So here's the deal.

If you'd like me to set up another big fund zoom party. I need you to call me on the, How Not To sailor hotline at area code 7 7 0 4 5 8 3 8 3 8.

You could do it right after this podcast. So you don't forget.

Just say, howdy, let me know your name, where you're from And that you want a party for the end of season two.

If you have any other feedback, that's also awesome. But the main thing is I need you to call the How Not To sailor hotline and let me know you want a party. 7 7 0 4 5 8 3 8 3 8 in case you forget, I'll put it in the show notes.

But I'll be waiting to hear from you. And I hope we have enough critical mass to have another great party this year.

Thanks as always to our awesome Patrion crew. To Latitudes Attitudes. America's number one, boating lifestyle magazine to our friend, Bob Bitchin at Bob Bitchin dot com. And don't forget you can get the book How Not To Sail as well as all kinds of other stuff at How Not To Sail dot

This episode was mixed by the wonderfully patient and globe trotting, Maxi Frini who? Of course you can find it. Maxi Frini dot com.

and as always the biggest thanks in the world to you for listening and telling your friends.

Remember that just like printers.

It's not the upfront cost on a boat that gets you. It's all the other stuff. And I'll see you next time on.

How Not To Sail, screwing up is part of Cruising. Let me show you how.

I see. This is eaten up pretty good. Well, they replaced that like once a month. Same for that, uh, shift sink. No, that ain't right. Uh huh.

All right, dog. You're messing up my audio, take two without the dog So


In this episode, a big crane (a.k.a. a “travel lift”) plucks my sailboat from the water, hopefully in one piece. And we meet an old friend.

Audience feedback drives the show. I’d love for you to contact me and keep the conversation going! Email bradford@hownottosail.com, call 770-458-3838 or leave a comment below! I’d love to hear from you!

Wanna Party?

As I mentioned in the podcast, I’m thinking of having another big Zoom party. Interested? Then let me know!!! Call the How Not To Sail Hotline at (770) 458-3838 and leave me a voice mail! I’m hoping we get a good response.

Thanks For The Love!

Thanks to Carey, Scott and Al for leaving some much-needed encouragement in the comments on the last “Announcement” (semi-)Episode!

I’d love to hear from YOU, too! Just scroll on down to the comments section below…

Show Notes (including pics!)

Shane operating the travel lift.
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Ya know him, ya love him! Blowtorch Mike poses in front of the vessel.


As I mentioned in the podcast, the keel was looking a little pitted the last time I dove on it. I thought (and the hull cleaners mentioned) it might be some kind of galvanic corrosion…but does that even happen with a lead keel?

The keel is looking kinda funky.

Call the How Not To Sail Hotline at (770)458-3838 and let me know you want another fun Zoom party!

So, if you saw the YouTube video where I cracked the rudder, this is it below. Fortunately, it was above the water line. I was afraid it might get waterlogged; but Shane said this part was just Bondo™, and that it was just a built-up area on top of the rudder. Whew!

The infamous crack on the top of the rudder.


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Want to enjoy your boat, visit awesome destinations, and skip the stress? Then be sure NOT to use any of the “handy tips” mentioned here.

Author, sailor, and host of the How Not To Sail Podcast Bradford Rogers shares with you some of his easily-won but hard to forget advice with equal measures of wide-eyed befuddlement and extra-dry humor. (Shaken AND stirred.)

Buy How Not To Sail at HowNotToSail.com/book

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What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor? (Traditional) – performed by Bradford Rogers and Peter Suarez


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Bradford Rogers
Producer. Performer. Sailor. Multimedia Ninja. Author of How Not To Sail, host of the How Not To Sail podcast and YouTube channel.



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